Up against a wall of silence
When I started this project last summer I was bursting with optimism. I had such lofty ideals and goals for this little documentary that could. That, and I promised to document the process on this blog. Well, to put it tritely, life happens.
In January I got a call I never expected. It was the first day of winter classes. Four missed calls on my phone from a familiar number. When I realized what number it was, my heart fluttered. I interned at the Agenda with Steve Paikin, a current affairs program at TVO. I loved it and they apparently felt the same way about me. A job had opened up. Temporary for now with a permanent position dangled as a lure. What this meant, in a nutshell, was that I would be working full-time squeezed into the space of part-time and attending classes. Needless to say, my life has been a teensy bit hectic. What started as a three-week contract turned into another month and another and another. Six in total.
And on top of work and classes, I’ve been chipping away at this project. It’s been extremely difficult. Progress is measured one interview at a time. Now, I’ve hit a wall.
I knew when I started this project that some ‘gets’ as we call them in this field — that is, getting interviews — would be easier than others. I knew I could probably convince my former co-workers to talk to me and community groups. I have to say, having spoken to about five of each, they were more honest about it than I expected — frank, even. But the roadblock remains the same: clients, participants, recipients, those with lived experiences of the program.
Here’s the rub. I’ll be frank for a moment. I have a terrific memory and I can easily recall names and faces of clients I’ve interacted with over the years, but I cannot use that information if I am to act ethically. See, I cannot use the information because I am not really supposed to have it. Using it would be a violation of client privacy. So I have gone to great pains to do this the right way. Giving flyers about my project to my old boss and community groups. Asking community groups and caseworkers to suss out potential interviewees. Some have been helpful and others have stonewalled. Frustration.
See, some of my classmates and peers in the field would not hesitate to use the information I’ve retained to their advantage and just start dialing. But I can’t bring myself to do it. So instead I visit food banks during key hours and hope to catch a few fish. And I go back to my community groups to beg and plead for help. I don’t want to lose the heart of this project — the voices of those who live the experience.
If you are reading this blog or came to this entry through a search and want to help me with my project, please send me an email at allison@abuchanterrell.com.






